Being sexually frustrated with someone typically means you have a strong sexual desire or appetite for that person, but for whatever reason, you are unable to act on those feelings. This can lead to built-up tension, irritability, resentment, or even anger towards that person. Sexual frustration often stems from unmet sexual needs in a relationship, mismatches in sex drives or interests, or barriers to being intimate with someone you want. Exploring the nuances of sexual frustration can help you better understand and address this complex emotional state.
Why You Might Feel Sexually Frustrated
There are several common reasons why you may feel sexually frustrated with a partner or person you desire:
- Mismatched sex drives – You have a higher or lower sex drive than the other person, so your sexual needs aren’t in sync.
- Differing sexual interests – You’re interested in sexual activities the other person doesn’t enjoy or consent to.
- Relationship issues – Problems in your bond diminish intimacy and sexual interest.
- Stress – Everyday stressors and pressures curb your or their libido.
- Medical conditions – Health issues like erectile dysfunction or pain with sex get in the way.
- Medications – Antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, etc. can reduce sex drive.
- Body image issues – You or they feel self-conscious about attractiveness and initiating sex.
- Trust issues – Past betrayals or suspicion makes it hard to be vulnerable and intimate.
- Timing – Situational obstacles constantly prevent opportunities for sex.
- Distance – Physical separation from a desired partner removes sex as an option.
If left unresolved, these barriers to sexual expression can build up feelings of longing, sexual tension, rejection, dissatisfaction, and frustration towards the object of your desires.
Signs You May Be Sexually Frustrated With Someone
How can you identify sexual frustration? Some typical feelings and signs include:
- Intense sexual desire or appetite for that person
- Arousal, excitement or titillation when you see or think about them
- Urges to initiate sex but holding back
- Agitation or impatience to be intimate
- Resentment when sex doesn’t happen
- Anger, short temper or sensitivity about lack of sex
- Sarcasm, passive-aggression or loneliness after sexual rejection
- Withdrawal or relationship discord over mismatch in sexual expectations
- Masturbating often to relieve pent-up sexual energy
- Fantasizing frequently about sex with that person
Pay attention if your mood, behavior or attitude towards someone shifts dramatically based on whether or not you’ve been sexually intimate lately. This rollercoaster of emotions can signal underlying sexual frustration brewing.
How Sexual Frustration Impacts You
Being in a prolonged state of sexual frustration with someone can take both a psychological and physical toll. Some potential effects include:
- Stress, anxiety or feelings of inner turmoil
- Low mood, crankiness and short temper
- Trouble focusing or concentrating
- Reduced self-esteem and self-confidence
- Strained communications and increased arguments
- Deterioration of the relationship over time
- Increased masturbation and use of pornography
- Fatigue, muscle tension and body aches
- Insomnia or restless sleep
- Decreased immunity and recurrent illness
Left unchecked for long periods, sexual frustration can breed resentment, distrust, infidelity or the end of relationships. It may prompt risky behaviors like visiting sex workers or unsafe sexual encounters with strangers to satisfy unfulfilled desires. Or it can evolve into mental health issues or sexual dysfunctions if the situation seems hopeless. Being aware of these potential effects underscores the importance of addressing the root causes of sexual frustration proactively.
Coping With Sexual Frustration in Relationships
If you find yourself repeatedly sexually frustrated with a partner, don’t ignore or bottle up those feelings. Be proactive about communicating, troubleshooting and finding solutions to get your sex life back on track. Some tips include:
- Discuss mismatched drives or interests openly and non-judgmentally
- Explore compromises to meet each other’s needs and try new things
- Set aside dedicated time for intimacy without distractions
- Work on relationship issues dragging down your sexual connection
- Manage stress better through relaxation techniques, sufficient sleep, etc.
- Get counselling support if personal or medical issues are barriers
- Agree on a minimum sexual frequency that satisfies you both
- Masturbate together or separately to help ease sexual tension
- Plan romantic getaways to reboot your sex life
- Consider an open relationship arrangement if mismatched libidos persist
The key is communicating your needs clearly, identifying obstacles together, and being willing to compromise. With mutual understanding and effort, you can get back in sexual sync.
Dealing with Sexual Frustration over Someone Unavailable
Coping with sexual frustration gets more complicated when it involves unrequited desire for someone you can’t have. Reasons may include:
- They are married or in a committed relationship
- They live far away
- They are a friend or colleague it would be inappropriate to pursue
- They have made it clear they don’t reciprocate your romantic feelings
In these cases, you have no direct outlet for your sexual desires involving them. Ways to handle this include:
- Accepting the situation will not change and letting go of unrealistic expectations
- Redirecting your mental and sexual energy onto more available targets
- Avoiding or limiting contact if they consume your thoughts and frustrate you
- Throwing yourself into work, hobbies, exercise or social activities as distractions
- Journaling privately to get your feelings out constructively
- Confiding in a trusted friend or counsellor for support
- Taking a solo vacation to get distance and reset your mindset
With time and intentional effort, your fixation and sexual frustration over this unavailable person should subside. Be patient with yourself throughout the process.
When to Seek Professional Help
In some circumstances, sexual frustration may require seeking professional counselling or medical help. See your doctor if you experience:
- Prolonged depression, severe anxiety or rage from sexual frustration
- Erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain making sex difficult
- Obsessive thoughts, urges or behaviors related to pent-up sexual energy
- Compulsive use of pornography or unsafe sex with multiple partners
- A sex addiction or relationship dysfunction ruining your life
A psychologist can help with mood issues, thought patterns or sexual compulsions worsened by unrelieved sexual frustration. A doctor can check for underlying medical or hormonal causes impacting your libido and function. With expert guidance, you can find healthier ways to restore sexual equilibrium.
Conclusion
Feeling sexually frustrated with someone is a common relationship challenge. While the causes vary, unchecked frustration can undermine relationships, mental health and wellbeing over time. The keys are honest communication, willingness to compromise, self-care and seeking help when needed. With concerted effort, sexual harmony and fulfillment remain within your reach.
