A pillow heartbeat refers to the sound of your partner’s heartbeat as you rest your head on their chest while cuddling. The rhythmic “lub-dub” sound can be very soothing and help lull you to sleep. While the term “pillow heartbeat” is fairly new, the concept has likely been around as long as couples have been cuddling.
The Science Behind Pillow Heartbeats
The sound we hear as a pillow heartbeat is caused by the opening and closing of the heart valves as blood is pumped through the heart. Here is a quick overview of what happens during each heartbeat:
- The right and left atria contract, pushing blood into the ventricles.
- The ventricles contract, pushing blood out of the heart.
- The pulmonic and aortic valves snap shut, causing the “lub” sound.
- The ventricles relax and refill with blood as the atria contract again.
- The mitral and tricuspid valves close, causing the “dub” sound.
This cycle repeats itself over and over, creating the steady rhythm we hear as a pillow heartbeat. The sound is amplified as it travels through tissues and bones.
Why Pillow Heartbeats are Comforting
There are several reasons why the sound of a pillow heartbeat can lull us to sleep and provide comfort:
Reminds us of the womb
The muffled heartbeat reminds us of our time in the womb when we would hear our mother’s heartbeat constantly. This takes us back to a time when we felt completely safe and secure. The familiar rhythm soothes us instinctively.
Indicates safety
On a subconscious level, we recognize that a strong, steady heartbeat equates to health. Hearing our partner’s heartbeat reinforces that they are alive, well, and close to us. This activates feelings of safety, protection, and reassurance.
Promotes bonding
Sharing such an intimate moment promotes bonding, closeness, and trust between partners. This releases oxytocin, the “love hormone” which enhances feelings of affection.
Distraction from stress
Focusing on the soothing sound provides a distraction from daily worries, stressors, and anxieties. This helps quiet the mind and prevents racing thoughts that might otherwise keep us awake.
Regulates breathing
The steady rhythm of a heartbeat can actually help regulate our heartbeat and breathing as our bodies sync up. This has a stabilizing effect which prepares us for rest.
Tips for Enjoying Pillow Heartbeats
Here are some tips to help you and your partner enjoy the bonding, comforts, and sleep benefits of pillow heartbeats:
Find a comfy position
Get into a comfortable cuddling position where your head rests gently on their chest, near their heart. They may need to adjust their arm position to avoid it falling asleep!
Limit distractions
Turn off the TV, put phones away, and dim the lights. Eliminating distractions will make it easier to relax and focus just on the soothing sound of their heartbeat.
Communicate
Let your partner know that you enjoy resting your head on their chest to listen to their heartbeat. Communication ensures you are both on the same page about spending intimate time together.
Set the mood
Try using a calming essential oil, playing soft music, or taking a warm bath together first to get into a relaxed state. A peaceful atmosphere will enhance the comforting effects.
Be patient
It can take 15-30 minutes for your breathing to slow, heart rate to decrease, and for you to fully experience the sleep-promoting benefits. Be patient and just focus on the sound.
Make it a habit
Scheduling cuddle time before bed can help make pillow heartbeats a habit you and your partner look forward to each night. This consistency can enhance the sleep-promoting benefits.
The Benefits of Pillow Heartbeats
Listening to your partner’s pillow heartbeat regularly provides many benefits for both individuals and the relationship.
Promotes Better Sleep
The soothing heartbeat sound helps quiet the mind, reduce anxiety, stabilize breathing, and prepare the body for sleep. This can make it easier to fall and stay asleep.
Decreases Stress
Focusing on the calming rhythm of your partner’s heartbeat after a long, stressful day functions as a form of mindfulness. This lowers cortisol levels and leaves you feeling more relaxed.
Releases “Love Hormone”
As mentioned, cuddling up close releases oxytocin which enhances feelings of affection, connection, and bonding between partners.
Lowers Blood Pressure
Research shows that warm contact, like cuddling, reduces systolic and diastolic blood pressure. Lower blood pressure promotes better cardiovascular health.
Reduces Pain
Soothing oxytocin released when cuddling also acts as a natural pain reliever. One study found a 20% reduction in pain sensitivity after bonding contact between partners.
Decreases Depression
The relaxation and oxytocin release provided by pillow heartbeats can boost mood and ease depressive feelings. Touch also communicates safety and care.
Brings You Closer
Sharing quiet, intimate moments promotes feelings of closeness, trust, and bonding. This strengthens emotional intimacy which is key for relationships.
| Benefit | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Promotes Better Sleep | Soothing rhythm helps quiet the mind and body for sleep |
| Decreases Stress | Functions as a mindfulness technique to lower cortisol |
| Releases “Love Hormone” | Oxytocin released enhances bonding |
| Lowers Blood Pressure | Warm contact reduces blood pressure |
| Reduces Pain | Oxytocin acts as natural pain relief |
| Decreases Depression | Boosts mood through relaxation and oxytocin |
| Brings You Closer | Intimate moments strengthen emotional bonds |
Trying Pillow Heartbeats Long Distance
The comforts and benefits of pillow heartbeats aren’t just limited to couples in the same location. Here are some tips for how to experience the intimacy remotely:
Fall asleep on call together
Leave a voice or video call open as you fall asleep. Hearing their voice and seeing their face can provide a sense of their presence.
Record their heartbeat
Use a sound recording app to record the sound of their heartbeat next time you visit. You can play the recording when apart.
Send voice memos
Exchange voice memos with messages like “Goodnight, I love you” to mimic their heartbeat sound.
Use a long pillow
Hug a long pillow and imagine it’s your partner’s body next to you. Focus on picturing their heartbeat sound.
Sync up music
Make a playlist with songs at 60 bpm, the same rate as a resting heartbeat, and press play together.
Plan visits often
Plan consistent visits so you have enough intimacy and physical contact to sustain you until the next reunion.
Potential Issues with Pillow Heartbeats
While pillow heartbeats have many excellent benefits, there are a few potential issues to keep in mind as well:
Disrupted sleep
Some people may find the sound too distracting, especially if their partner’s heartbeat is irregular or they are a very light sleeper.
Sleep positions
Certain positions may become uncomfortable over long periods or put strain on the chest, arm, or neck. Adjust regularly for maximum comfort.
Intimacy differences
Partners may have different needs in terms of physical intimacy. Discuss preferences openly to ensure needs are met.
Congestion
Head colds or allergies can make breathing difficult when lying directly on the chest. Adjust your position until symptoms subside.
Medical conditions
Heart or lung issues like arrhythmias, asthma, COPD may require avoiding prolonged pressure on the chest.
Restricted movement
The position may restrict a partner’s ability to shift positions or get up easily during the night. Allow space to move freely.
Being aware of these potential issues can help you take steps to maximize comfort, intimacy, and sleep quality when enjoying pillow heartbeats.
Conclusion
The soothing rhythm of a pillow heartbeat has provided comfort and promoted bonding for couples throughout time. The sound reminds us of safety in the womb, regulates breathing, releases oxytocin, and brings partners closer both emotionally and physically.
Making pillow heartbeats a relaxing part of your pre-bed routine provides countless benefits including better sleep, reduced pain, lower stress, and strengthened intimacy in your relationship. While being mindful of potential issues, this simple practice can easily be incorporated to enhance wellbeing.
So the next time you need to unwind from a long day, feel your partner’s stress melt away as you cozy up to the soothing soundtrack of their heart and gain all the benefits this special shared moment has to offer. Sweet dreams!
